Go On and On and On
by Johnny Rustywire
I have been thinking about a dream and a discussion I had with Spirit Dove;
It was about standing with those of our people who died at the hands of the cavalry,
some who were slaughtered and their lives cut short by hate and ignorance.
I see that in standing with them that there is a link,
a tie that binds us to them, and that is to survive.
In many of the songs, stories and healing rights,
the beautyway overcomes the plagues, demons and sicknesses
caused by desire, greed, selfishness,
and external forces that reek havoc on the human body and spirit.
In thinking this way I think we are tied to the land,
to the world,
to the spirit of It,
and so it is a part of us.
Sometimes these forces place us in a position where our spirits desire to leave our body.
The word survival comes to mind.
The songs of my own people and those of others dealt with overcoming our own frailties
to restore balance, harmony and control over ourselves, our bodies and spirits;
and with how we deal with the environment.
In a real sense, we are here today
surviving the last century and the beginning of a new millennium
because one of our grandmothers and grandfathers
endured pain, hardship, cold and hunger.
I oftentimes can see them just as if they were here with me and not just in a dream.
I can not tell you or describe at times the thoughts that come to mind
in the way of living they made when hard times came to them.
In our stories the Twin Heroes, Monster Slayer and Child Born for Water,
these two fought creatures who brought death and destruction to men,
but they also sought out those beings
that are responsible for famine, old age, hunger, sickness, greed and others.
When they cornered them, these beings said,
if you destroy us then men will not know what it is to know these things.
When you look at it, the stories are old
and come from a time when there was not a written language, but just oral history.
But yet they persist,
although some have been lost,
continuing like us because they have survived.
These beings, as they were confronted, came forward and said
if we are gone then the people will not know what it is like to have known life,
to taste sweetness, caring, compassion and survival of the body and spirit.
We go about this world,
confronted on many sides by things that overwhelm the body and spirit
and each of these afflictions is known to each person
regardless of where we come from or our heritage.
Grandmothers, Grandfathers and my grandchildren,
Life is about the bright spirits I have known
who knew what it was like to enjoy a summer day,
a cool breeze,
and life with its good days and bad.
Many, oh so many are not here anymore.
I am not sure why or where they gave up or had their lives taken from them,
but they are no longer here.
I see them in my mind and remember their smiles and good days.
When I go home, sometimes I find that more have gone on and they are no longer here.
What is it to survive, to overcome our own pettiness and self doubt.
I have seen death,
sickness,
suicide,
unhappiness,
wanton lust,
selfishness,
and greed
mixed with alcohol, recklessness and despair.
There are some I have known,
and cousins,
those that I grew up with,
they are gone, all of them,
they live in my stories but they are not here anymore.
I sometimes cry out of loneliness for them, because I miss them so.
We laughed, played and lived together and had such dreams.
Suicide,
drinking,
car accidents,
sickness,
and being victims of violence
have taken them all from me.
Shi Dine' nshli',
I am Navajo,
I have survived.
My hopes, dreams and taste for a better life are all I have to offer my children.
I do not know where they will go
and I have not seen the faces of my great grandchildren
but I want them to know that I have survived for them,
to give them life,
and it has not come without its price.
Where are these that have gone on before,
who suffered so much and now are gone.
Where are their dreams,
Their good days,
and their hopes?
They lie in me;
and that is why I have to go on, to survive.
I would like so much to have more,
to be better off,
to know all there is to know,
to experience life in all places,
to see the earth.
I think I would like to see it through your eyes.
It sounds crazy
but often I find myself looking at those around me
and wondering how it would be to be them for just a moment.
We go about as strangers to one another
but there is so much to see in just one life.
We cannot know what life is about unless we reach out.
I am not a preacher.
I do know about all the things of my people,
all the legends, stories, and practices.
They sometimes come to me like a long lost memory
and as I get older I see the value to it all.
The thoughts of survival of the human spirit are eternal,
and with it the balance of life where I stand not above it all;
but the taste of red earth is in my mouth,
the plants, trees and rocks run with the red of my blood,
when I speak I am just one voice
and that voice is the song of a bird taking flight,
the roar of a mountain lion,
the squeak of mouse;
and we go on, all of us, together.
Where are those hopes for a better life,
where is the glory of life,
the beautyway taking the best of life,
and continuing.
It is in each of us
and we have to strive to make life better for us and our family in each day as it comes.
In standing with you in your dream,
I would tell you
if we were faced with a volley from the cavalry,
I would push you and tell you to run,
to live,
to go on and speak about life,
and tell your children that we lived
so that we may continue on
until we are nothing but a thought;
and in this we have survived and all those that came before.
We have to go on and we do through you.
So take heart,
touch your hand and face
and know that all that came before live through you.
Take heart and life
and know its sweet taste and go on and on and on
volume 10(6)
This poem is copyright © 2003,
Johnny Rustywire, all rights reserved.
Find more poems by Johnny Rustywire.
The Web Projects of Sondra Ball and Mario Cavallini
